Stayed at friend's place at Saturday night. Went singing and had dinner..what a good way to celebrate my 1 year anniversary in Australia..! I'm still making lyrics and I'm currently staying with my brother. For now, nothing much is happening, but I'm still thinking of her as always..:) I will live my life to the max..and love it more than others.

Woow...played tennis today. Seems like I've still got the skills..oh yeh..Going down to sydney tomorrow to send mum to the airport and staying at friend's house for the night. It's 1 am now..and I still can't sleep..why..Anyway I talked to that girl today..She said she will wait for me to go back and see her but she's going to UK soon..sad :( Well lets just hope that when I get famous, I get a chance to tour UK..:)

12.04 am..waiting for my sister to comment on my lyrics..well guess sometimes family is the best..They will support you whenever and wherever you are..Love my family..

Ooh..and also don't forget James Blunt's "Stay the Night"..

Boring long nights are always accompanied by soothing music..When I look out of my window, everything's so quiet..But that is the exact opposite of my heart..I think too much, more than i can actually handle. Songs like Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" help me get through my days..Today I looked out of my window and saw the sunset..Beautiful as it was..I can still remember it in my head..I love those feelings when you can just sit down and enjoy the view, thinking about all those beautiful things and just really relax. It's so hard for people to actually and communicate with each other now..How I hope the world can just stops and everyone comes around and start joking and talking to each other..She had a bad day today and talked to me..was glad that I can contribute on helping her out..but it's sad when someone you like already has her heart for someone..I don't really care much at all..I mean I'm human and I feel sad, but if she truly loves him, I've got anything to say, haven't I? Now life just passes by peacefully..Mum's leaving to SG and Nepal soon for her school building project..Wish I could help out..Anyway guys I'm working on project Gamma..and REMEMBER..don't ever stop loving those around you..If you can't, at least try to.. (and I hate those racist kids down my building..I'm not from freaking China you bastards..)..Have a nice night!!

As promised, Project Beta

Chorus:

When I turned and told you I love you

And you smiled and say this is a lie

But I’m not sweating, my heartbeat’s not rising

Cause deep inside we all know it’s true

That I’ve fallen fallen deeply for you.

Verse 1:

When we first met, when our eyes first locked

We looked deep into each other

Your big almond eyes with a touch of green

It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen

You smiled shyly

And it took me to places I’ve never been

You know I’m not Bruno Mars and I ain’t a sweet talker

But together we seem to always chat forever

So perfect when you’re not, so hard to come by

Fate brought us together and its luck that I find

Lonely nights I’ve got you with me,

Your laughter and smile has been imprinted on my mind

Verse 2:

The breeze carries your fragrance, the leafs rustling

Spring is coming and we stare into each other

No words spoken, deep inside we engage together

You lay onto my lap, turned your head around and gave me a smile

That moment, I realised words are merely tools of communication

You are my inspiration, built me up and supported me

Without you, my heart literally falls to destruction

When you left, I can still smell your scent

Lingering on the spot when you laid in my arms

The days are gone, but the sound of your whisper stays in my ears

I’m hanging on, to every word that you spoke about me

Those were the amazing moments spent with you, and you told me I was a fool

We usually joked around and when you’re tired

Lay your head on my shoulders, silky hair covering your face

We would stare outside the window for ages and I started parting your hair aside

Pre Chorus:

Nothing can tear us apart, this love continues through oceans

Our hearts shall never part, like binary stars in motion

They can mock at us, But I will never give up,

Like a shooting star, our love flares through the night sky

I’ll be your guardian, and on you my faith relies

Verse 3:

We locked eyes again, and this time nothing’s be the same

Oh how I wished this never ends, but that’s not gonna happen

The moments we cuddled together, the times I wished it lasts forever,

My dreams are shattered but I will never give up missing you

I have trust in us, one day we shall be together

And I’m waiting, waiting for you to come back,

This time I’ll hold your hands tightly,

And you will feel my heartbeat, saying you love me,

I’ll seal your lips with a kiss, these are the things I’ve missed,

And now I’ve called you to say, life is treating me kind

But that slightly shaky tone gave it away

Truth is without you, nothing’s fine.

WOOW...finally..took only 2 nights..ENJOY and comment..

Ok..now it is about half way through (not quite long as it is a slow and sentimental song).. Will arrange it tomorrow and shall name it 'Project Beta'..

Just realized I can sing "Living on a prayer" by Bon Jovi..My computer is getting slow now..Stupid NFS..spent 900mb on it but it doesn't work. I'm moving to my brother's next week..hope he treats me good. It's 930 now..sitting here listening to songs and forgetting about my assignments.. Anyway I want to shout out to those people inspired by music out there..Keep on doing music!! No matter rock, rap or R&B, as long as it bring happiness into people's life, you have reached the aim of becoming a good artist..Tips on what to write about: For me, it's usually daily things that inspire me..Not too much about the big pictures, but those small things..Like maybe a smile of someone, a cloud or the view outside your bus..Through these stuff, I can write about what I feel at that time..Just to rid my boredom, I'm going to write it some lyrics now.. (Don't blame me if I can't finish..I still have school tomorrow..) :)

Ok...assignments and homework due soon and I haven't done any yet..I'm in deep trouble..Going to a tennis match this friday and send mum to airport on saturday..Sunday I'll be going out and celebrate my 1 year anniversary in Australia!! It has been a while yeh?? Can't wait till I get back to Malaysia..hope everything stays the same.. In the holidays, I'm going to buy this microphone thing with my friend..It's pretty awesome as you can sing into it (high quality sound that is) and after that, edit your song with various samples available.. Imagine making a song in 10 minutes!! That will be so freaking awesome.. I can't really get her out of my mind (totally) but now that she doesn't actually react or talk back..I assume she doesn't really care much so I'll just keep her in my mind..:)

Friends..I wanna touch on this topic again..There are some that are true..some that are fake..and some that treat you as a 'spare'..to me, the third one is the dirtiest, bastards that only befriends people that they think are 'nice' or 'cool'..and then when they ignore them, they turn to talk to the 'spares'..the 'spares' are usually happy because they are cooler than themselves..It all ends up in a cycle..Eventually the 'cool' ones turn to the quiet ones and they usually become best friends..That's what I see in Australia..but I assume that everywhere would be the same? I getting bored of this fake world..it all comes down to what is true, what is true happiness? I'm trying so hard to make it in this world, but I'm becoming someone I'm not. From now, I will stick to my true self, no more 'Whoa, you're cool..BE MY FRIEND.." Anyway I'm tired now...just worked for like 9 hours. Tomorrow gonna meet with mum's friend and their family..and probably start playing tennis..Till then, goodnight :)
P.S. Always be happy guys, don't think too much and when you have a girlfriend, don't ignore your friends because that just makes you a dickhead.

Today...hmm..its alright I guess..Austin Powers was funny..Played a bit of basketball to get taller :) Other than that, just stayed at home doing nothing while listening to songs..Stan Walker is a amazing singer..Maybe writing lyrics soon. I don't really want to work tomorrow man..but this is my life..can't complain..just hope everything goes out smoothly and no one's bitchin me around. Hope everyone is having a nice life..teenage years come and pass so fast and time shouldn't be wasted on useless stuff :) and to my friend, please don't smoke..if you really CAN'T, at least smoke less..you will never regret it..:)

Freestyle..you know why?? Cause I'm fucking bored..

Now let me settle down and tell you a story,
It may be boring but it never bore me,
This little kid had a dream, a dream others can't see
A dream so wonderful he knows it so well he,
must work hard and passion is the key,
Shed away tears, fight fears he gonna set out to what he gonna be,
And now let's see, see if he's capable of becoming the next me,
Oh wait, no wait, that little boy grew up to be me.
He fell, got pulled up strike back and nailed,
those lyrics so hard he busts them right through the cell,
Critics dirt on him but he will never bail,
Through the lyrics and flow millions of album he sells.
He rose from the dark, being crowned alpha male,
Throne on the left, right the holy grail,
He's never gonna look back, he will never fail,
Hater hate in vain, sitting there and wail.

Music reliefs me..it's so true..and lyrics too..Went and chill with my mate today. Had 4 dollars of fat, hot chips..(though I think the guy is scabbing us)..and had macca's ice-cream to chill it down..Pretty interesting day I guess..Went up to this cute girl in library and started talking to her..got her name but not her number..haha..and when I was going home, saw some kids graffitying the walls..Ugly as shit..anyways I'm off to bed now..I spoke with her today :)

Life..what is it?? Does anyone know the true meaning behind it?? For me, life is just a game..we strive for success and after that.. Game over. Whole life we've been fighting..For what?? for ourselves?? Cmon let's face it...life isn't that hard only when you stop making it seems like it.. Live from your heart..not from your brain or temptations.. Go with whatever comes to you and don't avoid it.. When problems come, calm down and start thinking.. Only challenges makes people stronger. Those who keep everything to themselves and face everything alone are the bravest. The beauty of life is the process, the experience..not the materials or fame or success.. Live a life of what you want with passion... and lastly, make the most of it before it ends..

Today I was drenched in rain for like 15 minutes.. Went home dripping wet.. Nothing interesting happened today.. Might go to gym tomorrow.. What keeps me thinking now is that whether I've hung onto something for too long and not willing to let it go.. Hell I haven't even meet her but everyday I think of her.. What's my problem?? I tried talking to her and she never replies..Maybe she thinks I'm a jerk or annoying guy.. Haha I am indeed.. I think I just need someone to care for..someone like her who was also being bullied in primary school..I have true feelings for her but there are so many barriers..Human are all the same..HOMOSAPIENS..but the way we think can vary vastly.. I want to stop being trying so hard to love someone but I can't..she is stuck on my mind and will always be...Been through bullying when I was small..my pants being stripped in front of my classmates..being used and rejected..being isolated and neglected in the corner..in primary school when people hated me..being known as the nerd and geek..being used by people.. A LOT..In Form 1 people hated me too..Being dumped by my girlfriend after 1 week of dating..Is life hard?? NO..I am the one that made it seem hard with all the negative thought..But you can't blame me with all the stuff I've gone through..Only true friends support you all the way through..not just when you succeed..They got your back and never look down on you.. Now I swear to myself I must live a beautiful life..So beautiful that people envy..I kept on telling myself this is wrong but I'm human..I know the theory behind it but we are emotional driven..unless I can control it which I can't and that led to broken door handles, laptop, chairs, TV and much more..I'm opening up now. I confessed I've smashed countless doors and plates..treated my mum unfairly.. Hell domestic violence isn't something new anymore.. I REALLY want to control myself but I don't know how..so I turned to smoking..to be cool, to get girls, to relieve my stress, to stop being......ME.. What was I thinking?? I'm Sherard, that will never change.. I can only change my attitude or else life will get worse.. I owed my family too much and it's time to contribute something but I CAN"T BE FUCKED TO DO ANYTHING.. So now I must stand strong but I...can't..I'm so weak inside..I want to live my life the way I want..literally trying now but I might succeed..Wish me luck guys..Word said..I will always support those whenever they are down..enemies too..and I can't stop thinking of her..

Went to Sydney on Saturday after 9 hours of work..I quit my 5am job because it's too tiring..Tired as shit and arrived there around 11pm..After mum went to sleep, I woke up and went to friend's room, downloaded SA and drank beer..Next day went to meet with mum's Malaysian friend and had this fucking enormous bowl of Vietnam noodles.. Took train home by myself and watched TV till I'm tired and finally decided to update my blog.. Only a few reads this but I'm doing it for myself (DUR~it's a blog..).. I've been wanting to buy Sennheiser headphones too.. Went shopping with 2 friends on Thursday arvo and bought some new clothes.. (3 for 10 bucks!)..A friend wanted to find me for a band after HSC and IF successful, we might tour Australia!! But that is just dreams..for now I must do the best I can.. Haven't been making songs lately..dammit..must find time to do it or I'll forget about it.. What about that girl?? Screw it..I'm still thinking of her but life still goes on right?? :)

I support DAP over BN...because I like Drugs, Alcohol and Party..lol

Hmm...haven't updated my blog lately..ok..I worked from 530am to 6pm during saturday..and earned 110 dollars...I'm saving money to buy myself some headphones..good ones like Sennheiser or Bose..have been writing songs lately but only in small bits..saying sorry for my friend because I promised him one but can't make it...well there is one being made..still halfway in production but it will be published quite soon..since there is nothing to do after school other than gym or basketball..I really want to go back to Malaysia and see how it's like over there..so quiet yet so fun..I really miss Malaysia. Oh by the way I'm going to Auckland early 2011..YEAH!! time for me to relax too..but I can't make it to Linkin's concert..DAMN.. Well I promise myself I will go next time IF they release another album...school is pretty boring as there is no one to talk to..but I guess life just has to move on..the girl I mentioned seems not to take interest in me..should I let her go?? Who knows?? Only time tells...