Got a keyboard in my room now..went to bro's house and watched a movie with him..played xbox and football..pretty relaxed weekend i guess..man fuck school..don't really want to go tomorrow..
(still missing her..:(.. )

Oh man..how I love talking to those random people who you don't even know adding you on facebook..it's just so awkward!! (and kinda funny)...Oh well I didn't get the main role probably because of the stupid accent thing..FUCK that..lets all pray I get the principle role then..if not I'm so going to them and get my 60 bucks back...tomorrow is sat so guess I have to wake at 500am again..haha well X-men is on tonight and I'm going to cook myself some spaghetti.. :)

Ok..so I went to my workplace and handed in my account number..and what they said was:" We don't think you are quite suitable for the job because this is a fast-paced environment" and that was how I lost my job..well fair enough I guess..I wasn't that experienced in dealing with veges, plus I don't really liked my boss..although I was a lil bit disappointed because of the money that I'm going to lose..Other than that, everything was fine..played some hectic basketball today and was sweating like a hog..and hopefully they choose me for the lead role of the musical... :) (and yes..I still think of her sometimes when I'm alone..)

WOOTS..graduated from yr 11.......that feels fucking awesome..cause I was awarded 2 certs..first in ESL and the 2nd one for outstanding effort..now I'm in the last year of high school!! Now its 1114pm and I'm singing..why?? Tomorrow I'm going to have an audition..Hope everything goes well!! Oh and I went to the bank for a new account today..just for the sake of my job..AND a huge thanks to those who approve of my lyrics..you guys encouraged me to do more!!

OK..and now Project Beta is on the way..For alpha, I'm still finding the right rhythm for it..need some tunes and after that maybe I'll start recording it..It's still fucking raining and that depresses my mood..

Ok guys..(for whoever is reading..) Project alpha has been completed in 3 hours and will be posted as promised..This is a promise for myself for the love of music and hope that it inspires underground musicians out there to continuously create better songs..

First Verse:

It’s a cloudy morning the rain is dripping on the window pane

Shady Clouds blocking the sunlight, when I looked out on the bustling lane

Foggy windows blocking my sight so I wiped out the mist

Noticed the streetlight shedding light for the souls who are lost

Direction needed, light shone upon but where are you when I need you most

So I sat beside the window and listened closely to the patters of raindrops

So soft yet so clear

Cars moving along the street people self absorbed in thoughts

Days going by the year

And I closed my eyes

The world in this moment has been shutted out of my mind

The clock ticking away silently reminding me of the time

The time lost when I was missing you

You gave me the light on the street and showed me directions to live

But when you left for countless nights I wept

Rainy morning accompanied me through the night as the skies shed their tears

And raindrops masked my fears

Cause since you been gone, you took everything away with you

When the day that you left, I forced up a smile and told you everything’s gonna be alright

But that ain’t true cause now nothing seems to be going right

And now I’m hoping the rain won’t stop cause I need it through the night

Second Verse:

Oh I was such a fool I believed in forever and this ain’t coming true

This world we live in is so cruel separating isn’t something new

But for you I will wait till the end of the day

Even storm comes in I will still always stay

Cause you’re the one

You’re the one that I want

People might say that this guy is crazy love has him driving around c-razy

Indeed you had me going dizzy

But this is something that no one will understand

Because you’re my lady Juliet and I’m your superman

For you I try the best I can

Memories penetrating my head

And my love for you will never fade

Remembering the fun time we had

And the lovely things you made

And I was relentless in persuading that this feeling will disappear

But that will never happen I fear

A lonely man hopeless within

Going through the places where we’ve been

Your smile is the reason why I’m alive

You came in and literally changed my whole life

When you told me you had to leave and stared into my eyes

This clarifies my mind, and I promised myself that I will leave u behind

You’re imprinted on my mind and after you left I told myself that I’ll be fine

But unfortunately this isn’t working out

Cause you are everything that I am about

Third Verse:

Now it’s still drizzling but raindrops tend to soothe the emptiness inside

I can’t bear more of the weeping nights as you shed me the light

If I had you what more could I ask? I can only ask that this forever last

That you won’t leave me so fast

Diamonds cars fame you’re incomparable gave me a smile as sweet as an apple

Making me fly is something that you’re able

And you made me believe that love just ain’t a fable

As I sit here missing you, I realise that this is a barrier that I can’t break through

I must pick myself up and get over you

A silent knock on the front door and I jumped out hoping it was you

Grappling the handle and my heart is pumping

Told myself that 1 day you will come back for me

But that ain’t true

Cause when I open the door the fantasies are over

And it’s the real world that I’m going through.

Pre Chorus:

When the day that you left,

I forced up a smile and told you everything’s gonna be alright

But that ain’t true because now nothing seems to be going right

Chorus:

Cause I’m still missing you

I kept telling myself this is over but that ain’t true

Hope that the next time we meet

And you will never change just one bit

Always stay the same as you are

And I’ll embrace you my dar and send a whisper

Beside you that “I love you”

-------------The End---------------

Ok now guys this is a copyright of Sherard K ok?? if any1 of you wants a copy or anything, feel free to ask me..I'm always willing to share..

First day of new job..do I like it? No..not really..the boss is quite harsh but hey..pay is like 10 per hour..quite good compared to the previous 7 dollars..Went to the new G-Star shop and found a mad shop assistant.. Was so tired so going to sleep soon..

Fuck yeah..finally finished "What I've Done"..also realized that I can sing the original pitch with little problem..just a few more practices on keyboard and it will be smooth..Next project will be 1 of Owl City's..Got an award from my physics teacher and he complimented on my folder..haha basically I just stuff everything in there..Now its 1130pm..new job starts at 6 so gotta be up round 445..Now that I realize this has become my diary..I'm getting used to the loneliness now and it isn't that bad. It's interesting how I keep with this habit. Linkin Park is coming to Sydney and I wished that my friends are here to watch it with me..The bio prac went pretty good. Fortunately my lab buddy is a korean and that changes a lot.. Now I'm just listening to songs and literally staring blankly at my laptop..I really missed that girl though I haven't seen her for like ages..Really hope that nothing changes too much when I'm back in Malaysia..
By the way my arm still hurts and sores like hell..

Back from library chilling..just had hot fat chips with my mate..apparently I was too loud at the library and being told to shut up..librarian said she heard everything I said..Oops I can't control the swear words..( I swore like 50 times LOUDLY)..she must've thought that I am a retard..Just got my audition sheet today. I have to sing a 50 second song and read a part of the script with an 'accent'..problem is I don't even know how does those Brit-ish people talk..damn..Wish me best of luck and get the lead role!! Haven't been practicing piano lately..and I have to audition next Wednesday..The first assessment task in year 12 will be handed tomorrow..Fuck bio pracs..oh man..homework, audition, work, music and TV..how can I cope with all that?? haha..guess I'm superman..and I'm missing her..(not as much now as work is overwhelming..)

Signed out of school early today..just 3 hours of schooling..walked to the train station while enjoying the view when someone gave me the finger..arrived home and applied online for my tax file number..guess I'll have to pay tax ey..Read this story about the 1989 Tiananmen massacre..quite interesting I say..other than that I had nothing to do except TV..haven't been practicing much piano lately and my arm still sores from that workout. I might stop it cause it may affect my growth and I don't wanna be short and ugly..like Mr Hyde lol..anyway I'm still waiting for that dumb TPG to upgrade my internet..apparently I can't even load pictures now..Alright that's it for today..quite boring yeh?? haha..till then..time for me to get serious now..starting on project alpha.. and and I can't wait to talk with her again..

Oh and by the way..singing loudly at night IS NOT A GOOD OPTION...ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT...or CONDOMinium..(whichever you prefer..)..I think I might get people complaining soon and ban me from my house..wait..they can't ban me from my house because that's mine..well you get the point..and I have neighbours that stare at me when I enter my house/studio/apartment/crib..

Went to gym today..had a good workout..after that spent my time on eating and eating and eating..now I'm feeling so sick..had pizza, spaghetti, biscuits and a big bowl of rice..and I'm getting fatter now..haven't done my homework..man they are piling up now and to be honest, I can't be bothered to do it at home.. TV is such a good invention! Trying to clear things up in my mind and set a path of what I am going to accomplish before 2010 ends.. Other than that, today is just another normal day..and I'm still missing her..

Just got back from school..and I am 2/3 finishing the song now...Haven't got much to do except my english essay..Today we talked about belonging and touched on the topic isolation..hmm I guess that best describes me?? To me..being alone isn't that bad..it gives you time to think, to do what you want to do and most famous people spend their free time on what they love to do..and that's basically me..I have friends here, but sometimes I just wish to be alone..in my world where no one interrupts or gives me a fuck...For now I'm quite used to it but I seriously doubt that it will stay forever when I go back to Malaysia...I have good buddies but it's that empty feeling that I get when I arrive home..I guess I was used to attending tuition every second and now I just basically spend my free time doing nothing..Well guys, I might be writing lyrics now and will post it soon..and Adam Lambert is performing on X-factor.. lets see how good is he..and inside I still miss her BADLY...

Woots..got my fucking paid work trial that they promised me like 1 month ago..now I'm thinking of every single lie to quit my current job..haha I've got mental illness and can't attend work? My arse has a rash and I can't walk? I think I might be working on Wednesday arvos and musical training on Thursday arvos..my life is pretty filled I guess..missing Malaysia and laksa..well a years time isn't that long..I'll be back soon and meet up with that person that I haven't met for years..hope she doesn't change too much..and of course my besties!! By the way Jurassic parks are classics..and so is Bruce Lee..( I wonder what will happen if they put Bruce Lee in Jurassic Park?? some kick-ass movie perhaps??)

Worked from 530 am to 830 am..got home..felt totally trashed and went to sleep till 3..cooked lunch and watched jurassic park..not bad indeed for a day off..gonna be writing lyrics soon and making tunes..Now I can pull some off my head directly..guess I'm getting better?? haha.. Today is just another normal day I guess..thanks to my friend that spoke with me this morning..he helped me much and I might get a tattoo soon..:) Australia's got talent is coming to town but I'm not prepared yet..might just wait for next year..and I'm still missing her although I'm trying my best to let go of it...trying to fill my life up with basketball, musical, and piano..hope everything goes well!!

oh man...today is just another normal..went for a haircut..not really nice but who the fuck cares?? is outside appearance that important?? fuck those who think it is...I participated in musical..better worth the 60 bucks I paid..talked to the girl that I missed so much..but is was damned..we didn't talk much and I have this feeling that she doesn't care..haha well fuck this..my life is bad enough for another girl to trouble me..but deep in heart I'm seriuosly missing her so much..soo fucking damn much..I like her I think..oh FUCKKKKKKKK

Time to update my blog..well I'm thinking of participating in a musical but don't know if its worth the money..its an old musical but I want to participate in it..because it would be fun! I'm about half way through the song now and my friend just showed me some lyrics..nice ones..keep it up!! Homework and everything is going fine now and I'm going to graduate year 11 on 26/10..!! So after that it will be my last year at school..but hope that my grades aren't too bad..received my bio results today and got 57 out of 73...not bad for a day's study ey..And now I guess its time for me to share my love for denim..if you guys get bored..sorry..
I'm quite interested into raw denim nowadays, especially the jeans made by Nudie Jeans Co. ...Their jeans are made of premium quality denim and this is their philosophy:

"We love jeans, a passion we share with everyone who mourns a pair of worn out jeans as a close friend. Jeans share the same soul and attitude as music. The inspiration springs from the same dreams. As a true jeans brand we are not looking for the short-term trends. The inspiration is far from glamour and catwalks. The collection is tight, like a rock band, reflecting the feeling of everyday life.

Design goes beyond creating just a product that serves to fulfil a need or a function. The philosophy of Nudie jeans is to become part of your dreams. Jeans have a natural built-in dream and attitude.

Nudie will stay true to jeans and all about jeans.

Nudie is the ”naked truth about denim”. Denim has the ability to age beautifully – formed by its user into a second skin, naked and personal. The longer it lives the more character it gets. The indigo is a living colour that fades and gives the denim its character. The more you wear your jeans the more beautiful they get. Jeans are more than just a piece of clothing."

Its actually quite expensive..cost me about 240 AUD (about 750 MYR) but its pretty good though...this is their website and have a visit if anyone is interested..(which I highly doubt and there is nothing gay about denim ok?? Most musicians also love and have their own choice of raw denim..especially rock bands)

nudiejeans.com

Alright..seems everything is going fine now..sort of I think..I'm about a third through the song now..reckon I will finish it in 2 weeks and start on Owl City's "Vanilla Twilight"..That song send shivers down my spine man..Finally found a mate who is willing to study with me during lunch time..that may seem nerdy of me but remind you..I NEVER study at home so might as well finish everything as fast as I can at school..Oh and a guy taught me how to solve the last layer of Rubix cube and I start loving it again!! Did 2 experiments today..life would be wonderful if we do it everyday..and I realized my results aren't bad at all. Random kids keep coming up to me and ask me for smoke and it's quite annoying..anyway I'm cooking dinner tonight..Spaghetti Carbonara!! (taught by an Italian friend) and my friends..I'm waiting for you to visit me soon!! By the way..I still miss her..and laying on my bed listening to music at night has become part of my routine now..

Alright..I started piano but can't get back to the usual standard I was like 4 years ago...man that sucks ass...now I'm just trying to do everything the best I can and that includes homework..Hmm must admit I am indeed changing..but how long can I sustain?? Started playing Linkin's "What I've Done"..had so much memories with that song..and a guy came up to me today. We talked and he is in a band..probably I can hook up with him and join him..that's nice..but it's only a maybe..Well I'm still missing Malaysia and my friends and the food and that girl..haha..but not so much now..guess I'm trying to prevent myself from literally killing me inside due to over-missing her..but I will always think of her..

First day of Year 12...What do I think about it? Just finish this as fast as possible and get the hell out of there..!! Yeh..I'm planning to go back to Malaysia where all my brothers are waiting (hopefully..) and meet this special person...Today I played basketball with myself..think it's time for those chicken legs to man up now..well I'm starting a new habit of doing my homework and hopefully it doesn't end so soon..and FUCK my ISP..my internet got capped and now I can't even watch a video properly..anyway gotta go back to work now..and I am beginning to find new hopes and ways to cheer myself up..Life ain't that bad at all when you really think about it. Thanks for my friends for providing support..and I'm still missing HER..

Year 12 is coming now..and I am really not interested in studying. Why am I truning into someone that is so unhappy with life? My mum doesn't understand me..the girl I like isn't here with me..friends?? what friends? Man does anyone even care about me anymore? If everyone doesn't give a fuck about me, should I? I really am depressed now and have no one to share my feelings with.. I always remembered I was the one being bullied in primary school cause I'm not cool and I didn't have any friends..day before yesterday I met a girl who was the same with me and I wanted to talk to her cause I think she will understand me..But she turned into a people person now and have good friends that got her back..She will never understand me..no one will..I'm thinking of giving up now but I can't and I know I shouldn't..I'm not a weak guy and I Will make it through..hopefully..Wish me best of luck ey..

Started listening back to Linkin...they sounds so awesome in meteora..although they still sound good now...I just prefer their "old" style...Man I never knew life can be so tough. I wanted to end my life but it isn't worth it at all...never mind I trust I will turn into a stronger person.Wish myself luck..and I really miss her now..

well...today is just another normal boring day...really tired as fuck..i really can't stand this anymore
Everyday staring at the computer literally drives me crazy..I'm so tired of my life and don't even have any hope of living anymore...Am i depressed? perhaps..God knows what am I thinking. Just drew some graffiti but wonder why they look so crap..maybe when you're depressed your point of view becomes depressing too..Ain't that sad?? I really want to do something about my life but I'm so sick of it now...Why is everyone so happy but not me?? Why me? Fuck this life man..i really hate it..now I'm just trying my best to make my self feel worthy and confident and happy again. I'm trying very hard and I really need someone to help me through..Fuck my life..

She is gone..she's on the plane back to where she came..and now that she's gone back to her usual life, I'm trying hard to get used to mine. Everything changed when she came and now I realized changes aren't that bad. Everyone need changes so they can continue exploring themselves, perhaps change their point or view, perhaps transform into a better person or gain better insights of themselves..When we first met, I didn't realize how important she was but now she's someone that I can rely on and am happy with..
She's gone and hell knows when shall we meet..but this is life..what are we going to do about it?? Fuck it I guess..The only way to face it is to stand up and never bail..There's too much in this world for us to go through in such a brief period..therefore we should cherish every moment and everything we have..make the most out of it and leave good memories, fucking awesome ones... Well now she's gone, she changed me and for her I will start looking out for new hopes of life and try my best to change it...